Those early weeks after having my daughter are sort of a blur. I guess I was in survival mode. In between feedings and stealing away for sleep I found time to jot down the notes to this song.
I think the best way I can explain this song is by walking through the lyrics:
Something changed in me
When they laid you on my chest
Not sure how it happened but I think it’s for the best
I would be lying if I told you I felt this instant joy and bond and that I was a natural at taking care of my daughter as soon as she was born. Yes, there is a motherly instinct that turns on, but it turned on in a way I didn’t expect. It ignited this fierce desire to love and protect and nurture her before myself. It was a “dying to self” that I didn’t know had to be done. So when I say “something changed in me”…that’s what changed.
I lived life with one intention
And I thought that it was serving the Lord
Looking back I think I loved myself a little bit more
As a believer in Christ, my goal has been to put God first. After having my daughter, it exposed areas of my heart where I had truly been putting myself first.
‘Cause you need me in a tangible way
I give to you and you take away
But it’s my joy to be poured out in this life
It’s a sweet sacrifice
Oh, those early days of motherhood! Endless nursing, operating on minimal sleep, and doing it all while recovering from childbirth. I remember feeling this very real sense of obligation to my daughter. She needed me for comfort, sustenance, and her very survival. I felt so poured out. But I also felt this great sense of joy doing it. It was like I was running a race where my body felt it didn’t have any more energy to give but somewhere deep down I found a way to press on. I was reminded of Christ and the way He gave His body up for us, not that we had anything to offer him in return, but because He was responding in obedience to the Father and because He loved us so much. What a sweet sacrifice.
You’re changing every day
And watching you grow
Somehow shapes my own heart
More than you’ll ever know
I wrote this verse much much later than I wrote the rest of the song. My now 2 year old daughter is much less reliant on me. She is becoming more and more independent which is bittersweet. It’s amazing how raising a little one has challenged and grown me and “shaped my heart”.
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Thanks for reading a little bit about what inspired this song. Can you relate to any of this? How does “Sweet Sacrifice” speak to you? In what ways have you felt the joy of being “poured out” in your motherhood experience? Or maybe it doesn’t feel like a joy for you right now, and that’s okay, too. I’d love to hear from you guys so feel free to comment below!